Lights Out
by That One Apologue
Summary: ABANDONED! The WWE Superstars and Divas are forced to go to “Camp WWE”. Amongst these men and women are rivals, ex-boy/girlfriends and strange friendships. Based on the WWE Roster in 2005-2006.
1. Chapter 1

**Lights Out**

**Disclaimer - **I own nobody.. But I really wish I did...

**Characters - **Various WWE Characters (too many to name)

**Summary -** The WWE Superstars and Divas are forced to go to "Camp WWE". Amongst these men and women are rivals, exlovers, and even friends. Some new romances are formed while old one's are started back up…

**Chapter One**

In their overall opinion, they were on the shittiest bus to ever be made, or used. The bus went up and down as if the tires were all flat.

"Vince Mc-McMahon... That fu-fucking cheap ass-assclowns..." Chris mumbled as the bus went over yet another bump.

"Wh-what else di-did you expect?" Jason asked before the bus came to a halting stop.

Everyone on the bus jerked forward and hit their face on the seat before them.

"Oww! My nose!" Hunter exclaimed as he put a hand to his face.

"Well that's what you get for having a big nose!" Chris sneered.

"Shut it jerky!" Hunter demanded as Chris rolled his eyes.

Stacy leaned back in her seat and glared at the woman she was forced to share a seat with.

"Are you okay?" Stacy asked.

"Why do you care?" Molly snapped.

"Hey, where are we?" Maven asked as he got out of his seat.

"I think one of the tires is flat." The bus driver replied in a redneck tone.

"No, I think it was flat before we even left..." Randy argued.

"Well duh it was flat! It drives better when a few tires are flat..." The bus driver informed him.

"Then what's the deal? Why'd we stop?" Ric asked as he got off the seat he was sharing with Hunter.

"I think we outta gas..." The bus driver stated.

"Is the tire flat or are we out of gas? Which is it?" Adam questioned.

"Girlfriend stealer..." Matt mumbled with a cough.

"Man, are you okay?" Kerwin asked as he patted Matt on the back.

"Get your hands off of me!" Matt ordered as he slapped Kerwin away.

"What he doing?" Tajiri asked William and Eugene.

"He... He... He sick..." Eugene replied before putting his finger in his mouth as if to think.

"No, he's angry at Adam, Eugene..." William corrected.

"For... For what?" Eugene asked.

"I don't know, lad... You ask Matt." William said as he gestured to where Matt was sitting.

Eugene got up and walked up to who he thought was Matt.

"Why... Why are you mad at Adam?" Eugene asked.

"I am not mad at Adam!" Kurt protested.

"Oh... Sorry Kurt... I thought... I thought you were Matt." Eugene replied as Kurt gave him a dirty look.

"How could you say that Eugene? You of all people! Matt has long hair..." Kurt declared before Eugene walked away.

"Why are you mad at... at Adam?" Eugene asked.

"I am Adam..." Adam stated as he looked at Eugene blankly.

"Oh, I thought you were... Ah, Matt." Eugene said.

"NO! Matt has on a black t-shirt." Adam replied.

Once again, Eugene walked up to another superstar.

"Why are... Are you mad at Adam?" Eugene asked.

"Cause he's a pussy..." Austin hissed.

"Oh! OH! Austin! Hey! Remember me? I'm Eugene!" Eugene exclaimed as he pointed to his nametag.

"I can see that..." Austin remarked as Eugene clapped his hands together and jumped up and down. "Are you constipated?"

"NO... I'm just... happy!" Eugene shouted as everyone looked at him.

"Okay... Go express yourself elsewhere..." Austin replied.

"Okay! Bye!" Eugene yelled before running around the bus.

"Hey! Hey! HEY!" The driver called as he got back on the bus. "NO RUNNING ON THE BUS!"

Eugene stopped running and William got up and guided him back to his seat.

"Sorry about that good sir, he's just a little--" William started.

"He's mentally retarded." Hunter finished.

"He is not!" William yelled as he stood up.

"Yeah, sure... Keep telling yourself that..." Hunter mumbled.

"I will!" William declared.

_An Hour Later..._

"How long does it take to fix a tire?" Chris complained as they watched various guys try to change the tire.

"Why don't you use Show as the jack?" Randy asked as Big Show looked at him in disgust.

"Whatever... As long as we get outta here..." John replied.

"So we're going to use a man for a jack?" Amy questioned.

"If the shoe fits..." Randy mumbled.

"Okay... Whatever..." Amy said as she waved him off.

"Why are you always such a bitch?" Randy asked.

"You're only mad cos' I turned you down, not once, but twice…" Amy snapped as Randy's jaw dropped and John laughed.

"I thought you said that she said yes…" John teased.

"She, ah, said the word yes… Not to me, but she's said it before." Randy replied.

"That was a very stupid reason…" Amy declared as she shook her head.

"Okay everyone… The new tire is on… Thanks for the great idea, Randy!" Kurt called before getting on the bus.

"Where are we going anyway?" Show asked blankly as he stared at Eric.

"Actually I think Vince said it was called, Camp WWE…" Eric replied as he looked down at the clipboard.

"What?" Austin asked as he stopped dead in his tracks.

"Austin, now is not the time to play you're childish games." Hunter sneered as he stuck his head out the window.

"Shut up Big Nose… Now keep your head in the bus at all times…" Jericho snapped.

"Are you serious? Camp WWE? What the fuck is Vince planning?" Austin asked, ignoring Jericho and Hunter.

Benoit shrugged his shoulders before he and the Dudley's boarded the bus.

"I don't know… But I'm just hoping that I'm not going to be anywhere near Eugene…" Molly mumbled.

William quickly put his hands over Eugene's ears.

"You know the lad has feelings too!" William exclaimed as Molly sent him a dirty look.

"Molly… Just get on the bus…" Eric ordered. "EVERYONE ON THE BUS!"

Trish, Torrie and Stacy rushed up to the bus followed by Hurricane and Rosey, who were apparently doing some off duty superhero work. Gail, Jazz and Victoria also hurried to the bus, saying they didn't want to be left behind, for some odd reason.

"Is that everybody?" Eric asked as he glared at everyone who was seated in the bus.

"I don't know… We're in the middle of nowhere… Do you see any people in that desert right next to us?" Jericho replied.

"Funny… I hope you have something to do, cause the camp is still a few hours away." Eric announced as everyone started complaining to the person next to them and anyone near them.

"This is stupid…" Hunter exclaimed as he crossed his arms.

"Don't sweat it champ! At least we've got some entertainment…" Ric stated.

"What entertainment? All we have is Jericho and Austin… I don't think we can live with them making fun of me the entire time." Hunter sneered.

"Well at least we have entertainment." Shelton interrupted.

"Eric, why do we have a seating arrangement? We aren't children you know?" Benoit asked.

"You have more than a seating arrangement…" Eric replied.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kurt questioned.

"You'll see… In the mean time, just relax… Chat, do whatever, as long as you don't disturb me or the bus driver…" Eric announced.

The busload of superstars started a conversation with the people near them…

"Rosey, looks like we're going to have to be the entertainment." Hurricane declared as Rosey nodded.

"Good idea, Hurricane!" Rosey exclaimed before Hurricane leaped up from his seat and started talking.

"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls… Of all ages…" Hurricane started.

"And with all sizes of noses, right H?" Jericho interrupted.

"Fuck you Jericho!" Hunter snapped.

"No thanks, I'm not gay…" Jericho hissed.

"Hurricane, just sit down!" Eric ordered as he turned around.

"Party popper…" Came an unknown male voice along with a cough.

"What was that Jericho?" Eric asked.

"Ch… What makes you think it was me!" Jericho exclaimed.

"Who else would it have been?" Eric snapped.

The bus grew silent for a few moments until side conversations were started again.

_**To Be Continued…**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Lights Out**

**Disclaimer - **I own nobody.. But I really wish I did...

**Characters - **Various WWE Characters (too many to name)

**Summary -** The WWE Superstars and Divas are forced to go to "Camp WWE". Amongst these men and women are rivals, exlovers, and even friends. Some new romances are formed while old one's are started back up…

**Chapter Two**

By the time they finally arrived at the 'camp' the bus had broken down four times. After the forth time Jericho said they may as well have Taker, Kane, Show and Snitsky get out and push the stupid bus. Of course Kane and Taker protested against it, Snitsky said it'd be a good way to work out. While Show said that he'd rather not go to the camp than push a stupid bus.

Vince watched as the bus pulled up before him, Stephanie, Shane and Linda.

"Looks like we're stuck with the McMahon's..." Randy commented.

"You think?" Amy asked.

"Shut up..." Randy snapped.

"How rude..." Amy mumbled before they stepped off the bus.

The superstars stood before the 'higher power' and awaited Vince's explanation for this.

"Ladies and gentlemen, thanks for coming on such sort notice... Sorry about the bus, it was all the bus company had in such short notice. However, I hope you do realize that this trip isn't about the equipment we give you... Meaning that your cabins aren't exactly a hotel. Now, Stephanie has the information on the cabins..." Vince started before stepping aside.

Stephanie stepped forward with a clipboard in hand.

"Each cabin has two bunk beds..." She informed them, many made sounds of disbelief.

"Yes, I know... It may suck, but you're only sleeping in there. Various activities will take place during your stay here. Which Shane will be explaining..." Stephanie finished as Shane stepped forward.

"There is a mess hall where you can get something to eat from the hours of eight am to eight pm. That cabin over there has a TV, VCR, DVD player, and other various electronics that you may use... However, there are only two TV sets, so you have to work things out amongst yourselves..." Shane declared as he pointed to a large cabin to his left.

Linda nodded and started, "We're going to give you a folder with all your daily activities, so to speak... For the Divas, there will be photo shoots and matches. I know how much you may hate this, but there will be some of those matches that you all seem to despise."

"You mean bra and panties matches?" Randy asked with a laugh.

"Yes, that's a perfect example, Orton! However, the men will be given some of the special matches. Such as ladder matches, table matches, submission matches, etc. Although, we expect you to be on your best behavior for we will be filming all of your matches. Except warm up matches and practice matches." Linda replied.

"So how long are we going to be staying here?" Hunter asked.

"Three months... Enough for RAW and Smackdown! to both have their separate pay-per-views here and even a joint one." Vince explained.

"What about RAW and Smackdown! tapings?" Ric questioned.

"The WWE is going for a new look... We've talked it over with UPN and Spike and they think it's a excellent idea. The fans will be pleased. However, one thing we will be doing differently is the house shows..." Vince started.

"We're going to have a live audience for RAW and Smackdown!. However, we will not be having any house shows what so ever. Therefore, instead of house shows, you'll be doing practice matches and warm up matches for your matches. We will be posted who takes on whom in the mess hall every morning. So take that as that's where you report to every morning for a meeting." Linda stated.

"Wait... How in the hell are you going to get a live audience out here?" Benoit asked.

"Well, that's where the bus will be used..." Linda started before pausing, noticing the look of horror on a few of the many superstars in front of her. "We'll be getting a new bus for traveling, however, we're stuck with that bus for two weeks."

"Are you crazy? We broke down four times!" Jericho exclaimed.

"Yes, but that's why we're going to have to leave early for our RAW and Smackdown! taping location. It's not too far from here, if you prefer to walk, fine... It's only twenty miles, so I'd be a nice workout." Vince declared.

"I don't know about y'all, but I'm walkin'..." John mumbled.

"Ch... Same here..." Amy replied.

"Why couldn't we have just brought our own cars out here?" Hunter asked.

"Not enough parking space for that many cars... As you can see this camp only has this drive way and few parking spaces in front of the main office. Which is where we'll be staying. Next to us is cabin one, which will have Bischoff, Ace, Long, and Coach." Linda explained.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Jonathan Coachman?" Kurt questioned.

"Yes, The Coach! Now you guys try to be nice, I know you all hate him..." Vince stated.

"Whatever, essay..." Eddie replied, waving Vince off.

"Well, we're going to let you go to the mess hall where Stephanie and Shane will be telling you where you'll be staying." Linda declared.

Once everyone was seated in the mess hall they looked to where Stephanie and Shane stood, looking over the clip boards before them. They noted that Bischoff, Ace, Long and Coach were standing to the side.

"Okay... Cabin 1 is obviously Bischoff, Coach, Ace, and Long..." Stephanie started.

"Cabin 2 is Hurricane, Rosey, Rock, Holly..." Shane announced.

"What? Why am I the only girl?" Molly complained.

"Let us finish!" Shane snapped before Molly fell silent.

"Anyhow... Cabin 3 is Kim, Reso, Stratus, Show." Stephanie declared.

"Cabin 4 is Jericho, Helmsley, Flair, Austin." Shane stated.

"Cabin 5 is Orton, Cena, Dumas, Angle, Maria" Stephanie announced.

"Come on..." John mumbled.

Shane cleared his thought, "Cabin 6 is Hardy, Copeland, Victoria, White."

"What? I have to stay with that girlfriend stealer?" Matt sneered.

"STOP INTERRUPTING!" Shane ordered. "Stephanie, continue..."

"Okay... Cabin 7 is Keibler, Taker, Snitsky, Jazz." Stephanie declared.

"Who's Snit-sky?" Maria asked.

"The guy right next to you..." Shane exclaimed before Maria glared at the man next to her.

"Wow... Hello! I'm Maria!" Maria announced cheerfully. "Mind if I ask you a few questions?"

"Maria, you don't need to interview anyone... It's okay..." Stephanie informed her.

"Oh... Well then, why am I here?" Maria asked.

"Actually you're here to interview people with Coach." Shane announced.

"Wait, why is there five in a cabin?" John asked.

"Actually Cabin 5 has an extra bunk bed... Therefore, there are three in there... Meaning if anyone has a problem with their 'roomies' then they'll stay in your cabin... You can work out that stuff, later... But let us continue reading off the arrangements." Stephanie replied.

"Cabin 8 is Wilson, Maven, Kane, Benoit." Shane stated.

"Cabin 9 is Hemme, Eugene, Regal, Tajiri." Stephanie declared.

"What's with arranging a circus?" Jericho asked.

"It's not a circus, Jericho... Just Eugene is 'special'." Stephanie replied as she held her fingers up to quote special.

"More like mentally retarded." Hunter mumbled.

"Hunter, as always you're being a jackass... You haven't changed, have you?" Stephanie snapped.

"Hey, let's not get into this... Okay? Now, Cabin 10 is D-Von, Bubba, Shelton, Batista." Shane announced.

"And Cabin 11 is Orlando, JBL, Guerrero, Booker T." Stephanie announced.

"Cabin 12 is Johnny, Joey, Melina, Jillian." Shane declared as a few people winced at the sound of Jillian's name.

"Hey! I fix things! Does this disgust you?" Jillian asked as she pushed her hair out of the way to view that hideous thing on her cheek.

"Yes, very much... Now keep it hidden..." Jericho replied.

"Well deal with it!" Jillian snapped.

"Okay... Enough..." Shane ordered after clearing his throat.

Bischoff and Coach shook their heads, while Stephanie looked as if she was about to puke.

"Ah, since Steph is unable to talk... I guess... Cabin 13 is London, Richards, Doug, Danny." Shane announced.

"Who?" Maria asked.

"Just remember which cabin you're in... Cabin 14 is Carlito, RVD, HBK, Tomko." Shane declared.

Stephanie cleared her throat, "Okay, that's all of the cabins... Now you may go to your cabins and check it out..."

After all of superstars left, Stephanie turned to Shane.

"Did you see that... That... THAT thing!" Stephanie exclaimed.

"Are you kidding? The entire roaster was forced to see that... that... THAT thing!" Shane replied.

"I say we pay her extra to get that thing removed." Bischoff insisted.

"No... Dad would rather give her a mask than pay for plastic surgery." Stephanie declared.

"Okay... Then let's just give her a freaking mask... As long as we don't have to see that..." Ace stated.

"Or we could save even more money and ask her to cover it up?" Coach asked.

"Good idea..." Shane agreed.

_Meanwhile... **Cabin 2**_

"Stand back there's a hurricane comin'!" Hurricane shrieked as he ran around the room in his cape.

"Don, don, don, don..." Rosey yelled the 'beat' to Hurricane entrance.

"SHUT UP!" Molly shouted.

"Why is there so much yelling going on in here?" Rock asked as he entered the cabin.

"Hurricane is being a loser!" Molly declared.

"The hamburgluar?" Rock questioned.

"Who?" Molly snapped.

"Him..." Rock stated as he pointed to the man dressed in green and black.

"You mean Hurricane?" Molly asked.

"No... I meant that invisible person over there!" Rock hissed.

"Where?" Molly questioned.

"Oh shut up, jabroni..." Rock ordered.

_**Cabin 3...**_

"Show you take bottom bunk." Jason ordered.

"Why?" Big Show asked.

"Because I'm afraid if you take the top it'll collapse and you'll crush me in an instant." Jason replied.

"Jay! That's mean... True, but mean..." Trish snapped.

"Trish you take bottom." Gail stated.

"And why is that?" Trish questioned.

"Cause your ass is so big I'm afraid the top bunk will collapse and kill me." Gail teased.

"WHAT? HOW DARE YOU!" Trish yelled.

"She has a point..." Jason replied.

_**Cabin 4...**_

"The king of the world is here!" Jericho exclaimed as he entered the cabin with Austin, who was laughing.

"Well if it isn't the pussy... Do anything gay today?" Austin asked.

"I am not a pussy!" Hunter yelled.

"Champ... Let it go..." Ric ordered as he put a hand on Hunter's shoulder.

"Yes... Go do your little gay things... Just stay away from us." Jericho replied.

"You must think you're really funny, don't you?" Hunter hissed.

"HELL YEAH! We're going to be drinking beers and pointing and laughing at you the entire time we're here." Austin declared.

"How much fun is this going to be?" Jericho asked.

"A blast... Just a blast, Jericho..." Hunter mumbled.

_**Cabin 5...**_

While Maria was busy rambling on and on, John looked at Amy...

"Is she serious?" John mouthed.

"I don't know.." Amy mouthed back.

"And then I was like... What was I saying?" Maria asked.

"Oh my god..." John mouthed as Amy smirked.

Randy watched the two in amusement then glared at Kurt who looked like he was about to tear out the hair he didn't even have...

"If I had hair, I'd pull it out..." Kurt mumbled.

"I've heard of this great system--" John started.

"Stop, I don't want to hear about this..." Kurt replied as he put his hand up.

"Suit yourself..." John said with a shrug.

_**Cabin 6...**_

"Girlfriend stealer..." Matt said adding some coughs, as if Adam wouldn't hear.

"Man, are you okay? You really should get your throat checked out." Kerwin exclaimed as he patted Matt on the back.

"Stop touching me!" Matt ordered as he slapped Kerwin away again.

"What is your problem? Neither of us even talk to Amy anymore, except for at work." Adam declared.

"I talk to Lita..." Matt replied.

"Stop being such an asshole..." Adam spat.

"Stop talking!" Victoria ordered as she let out a breath.

"Fine..." Matt and Adam said at the same time.

"Chavo--" Victoria started before Kerwin cleared his throat.

"It's Kerwin..." Kerwin corrected.

"Okay... Whatever... Which do you want? Top or bottom bunk?" Victoria asked.

"Bottom." Kerwin replied.

_**Cabin 7...**_

Taker and Snitsky tried to enter the cabin at the same time. Taker looked Snitsky up and down.

"What's your problem boy?" Taker asked as he removed his sunglasses.

"That wasn't my fault." Snitsky declared.

"Sure it wasn't..." Taker mumbled before entering the cabin.

"I get the top!" Stacy exclaimed as she pushed past Jazz, almost knocking her over.

"Girl, you're going to get beat by the bitch!" Jazz sneered before running after Stacy.

"HELP ME!" Stacy pleaded as Jazz cornered her.

"Hey, leave her alone... Unless you want a date with the deadman..." Taker warned.

Jazz backed off and gritted her teeth. "Next time watch it." Jazz sneered.

_**To Be Continued...**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Lights Out**

**Disclaimer - **I own nobody.. But I really wish I did...

**Characters - **Various WWE Characters (too many to name)

**Summary -** The WWE Superstars and Divas are forced to go to "Camp WWE". Amongst these men and women are rivals, exlovers, and even friends. Some new romances are formed while old one's are started back up…

**Chapter Three**

After the superstars left Shane and Stephanie looked over the clip board one last time.

"Hey... Wasn't Rey supposed to be on the trip?" Shane asked.

Stephanie blinked.

"He's on the roaster list, but not on the cabin list..." Shane commented.

"Did he even come?" Stephanie questioned.

"Eric?" Stephanie and Shane asked as they glared at him.

"Ah... I remember him being the bus..." Eric replied.

"Oh my god! You left him in the desert!" Shane exclaimed.

"Well he's short..." Eric explained.

"That's no reason to leave him behind! Now go send the bus driver out to find him!" Stephanie snapped as she pointed to the door.

Eric sighed before exiting the room and walking over to the bus to tell the driver to go back and search for a short man with a mask on. The driver looked at him as if he were crazy, but followed orders…

_**Cabin 8... **Torrie, Maven, Kane, Benoit_

Kane was glaring in the mirror at himself as Torrie, Maven and Benoit watched him with curious eyes. Torrie fell off the bed trying to lean over Maven's shoulder. Maven glared at her and then at Kane, he hadn't moved or seemed to notice Torrie falling or everyone staring at him. Torrie quickly got up on her feet and straightened out her clothes quickly.

"Does anyone else find him weird?" Torrie whispered.

"Torrie, don't be rude..." Maven replied.

"Oh come on, she has a point." Benoit stated.

"You know..." Kane started, causing Torrie to jump and hit her head on the top bunk.

"Oww..." Torrie whined, holding her head.

"I wasn't always like this..." Kane stated.

"Oh shit... He's gonna make that speech again..." Maven mumbled.

"Ah... I've gotta go brush my teeth." Benoit announced before getting up.

"Stop..." Kane ordered and Benoit sat back down. "You should really hear this..."

"God we've heard it a million times before!" Maven exclaimed.

"Well you're going to hear it again!" Kane snapped.

"Okay..." Maven replied with a sigh.

_**Cabin 9** ... Christy, Eugene, Regal, Tajiri_

William was reading his book admiring himself, while Tajiri was trying to learn proper English, Christy was practicing her cheer leading movies, and Eugene was playing with his action figures. William glared up from his book and stared at Eugene as he was slamming his Regal action figure and his Triple H action figure together.

"Good, lord, lad! What are you doing!" Regal asked.

"I'm... I'm making you versus Triple H!" Eugene exclaimed before throwing his Regal action figure at the wall.

"And what was that!" Regal questioned.

"Triple H just... just threw you outta the ring!" Eugene stated.

"No, it looked like Triple H threw me at a wall..." Regal replied.

"No, no he threw you out of the ring!" Eugene protested.

"Give me a H! Give me a T! Give me a R! Give me a I! Give me a P!" Christy shouted.

"SHUT UP!" Regal snapped, causing Christy to stop. "Now can't you be peaceful for one minute?"

"No..." Christy mumbled. "I'm a perky redhead!"

"You... are... annoying." Tajiri declared.

"Thank god somebody said it..." Regal replied.

_**Cabin 10** ... D-Von, Bubba, Shelton, Dave_

"D-Von! Get the suitcase!" Bubba shouted.

D-Von glared at him, shaking his head. "Get your own suitcase... I ain't your servant! You get the suitcase man, I get the freakin' tables!" D-Von snapped.

"Hey, I don't want to hear your crap." Dave exclaimed as he stood up.

"D-Von just get the freakin' suitcase!" Bubba snapped.

"You get the suitcase! I quit as the table getter!" D-Von stated.

"You can't just quit at getting the tables... The Dudley Boys wouldn't be the Dudley Boys if you didn't get the tables!" Bubba declared.

"He has a point." Shelton agreed.

"Damn... I know he does..." D-Von replied.

"Why don't you just get your own suitcase?" Dave asked.

"Fine... I'll do it..." Bubba mumbled.

_**Cabin 11** ... Orlando, JBL, Guerrero, Booker T_

As some guys in black jeans and a black t-shirt rolled out a red carpet, JBL walked into the cabin.

"All bow down to the wrestling god!" JBL exclaimed.

Eddie raised an eyebrow, "Essay, you must be mistaken... You aren't a wrestling god, Holmes."

"I am to, you slimy son of a bitch!" JBL snapped.

"Whoa, sucka, don't be getting all pissed off cause you have your period. Now if you don't shut up, I'll be forced to get physical. And dawg, you don't want that!" Booker T stated.

"JBL, let's just get settled in.." Orlando mumbled.

"Fine... And when's the limo coming?" JBL asked.

"He ah, got lost... He'll be here as soon as possible." Orlando declared.

"Okay... Well tell him if he doesn't get here in, thirty minutes I'm gonna hire a Mexican to drive my limo!" JBL replied.

"But a Mexican does drive your limo." Orlando pointed out.

"Oh... Well tell him, Eddie will drive me limo if he doesn't get his ass over here." JBL stated.

"Holmes, I ain't driving that piece of shit. I can't be seen in something with horns on the hood." Eddie snapped.

_**Cabin 12** ... Johnny, Joey, Melina, Jillian_

"Damn, the bunks have those gay white sheets! I need silk!" Melina exclaimed.

"Don't worry Melina.. I'm a fixer, that's what I do, is fix things." Jillian stated.

"I know that! But what are you going to do!" Melina snapped.

"Easy... I brought some silk sheets, I knew you'd want them..." Jillian replied.

"You haven't slept on them.. Particularly on ah, on your side?" Johnny asked.

"No.. They're brand new!" Jillian exclaimed.

Melina, Joey and Johnny let out a sigh of relief.

_**Cabin 13** ... London, Richards, Doug, Danny_

"Steven, do you think we could jump off the top bunk?" Paul asked.

"Of course we could... With a lot of practice." Steven replied.

"Dude, I don't think you two realize this, but there is like four inches between the ceiling and the top bunk!" Doug exclaimed.

"No..." Steven started, taking out a tape measurer and measuring it. "It's three feet."

"Why do you have a tape measurer in your pocket?" Danny asked.

"Because it comes in handy... See it just did!" Steven declared.

"Okay... You need some help..." Doug mumbled.

"So, Paul... You wanna see if we can jump off of the top bunk?" Steven asked.

"Hell yeah dude!" Paul exclaimed.

_**Cabin 14** ... Carlito, RVD, HBK, Tomko_

Carlito was eating an apple when Tomko came into the room, carrying Shawn's bags.

"Thanks... You really are a problem solver! Well here's the buck I bet that you couldn't carry all my bags in the cabin!" Shawn exclaimed, handing Tomko a dollar.

Tomko smirked, "I'm not stupid... It was twenty."

"Fine... Be that way... I bet you that you'll take the dollar." Shawn replied.

"Just hand over the money, jackass." Tomko snapped.

"Fine... Here... Here..." Shawn mumbled, throwing some bills out.

"Dat's not cool." Carlito declared.

"Shut up you apple eating fag." Rob hissed.

"Well if it isn't R-V-D. You know what I don't like about you? You aren't cool, like Carilto." Carlito declared taking a bite of the apple that was in his hand.

"You spit that out and I'll Vandaminator your ass." Rob warned.

"Dat's not cool..." Carlito mumbled, walking back toward the bunk he was previously sitting on.

"Yeah, you better walk away..." Rob replied.

---

"Thank god!" Stephanie exclaimed as the bus returned.

"How could you leave someone!" Shane asked as he and Bischoff walked out the cabin.

"It's not my fault he's a midget!" Eric replied.

"Hey, he isn't a midget! He's 5'4"!" Stephanie snapped.

"Whoa, you have all the heights memorized?" Shane asked.

"Well, some of them..." Stephanie mumbled.

Shane shrugged as Rey stepped off the bus.

"Sorry..." Shane muttered as Rey walked up to the group.

"Hey, no problem man. What'd I miss?" Rey asked.

"You're in cabin five... Let your 'roomies' inform you what you missed." Stephanie replied.

"Okay..." Rey muttered before heading for the cabin.

_Inside the cabin..._

"I am an American hero! You do NOT disrespect me!" Kurt yelled.

"God, Kurt, just leave her alone... She didn't mean to ask what those 'necklaces' were." Amy stated.

"Oh, shut up." Kurt snapped.

"Hey, don't tell her to shut up.. You over reacted. Just leave the ladies alone." Randy replied.

"Fine..." Kurt sneered.

"Hey, I'm supposed to be in this cabin." Rey mumbled, as he walked in.

"Oh, hey Rey... Was there a mix up before? Or what?" Amy asked.

"Ah, they forgot me when we broke down..." Rey replied.

"Wow, that's cruel." John muttered.

"My thoughts exactly." Amy agreed.

"Well, you can have the top bunk.. Maria's afraid of heights..." Randy stated.

"Afraid of heights?" Rey asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, lots of people are afraid of heights, Rey. Believe it or not." Amy teased.

"I know that." Rey replied as he rolled his eyes.

The six fell silent as Rey settled in before the five who were present at the time, or well the four, were asked to explain what Rey missed...

_**To Be Continued...**_


	4. Chapter 4

**Lights Out**

**Disclaimer - **I own nobody.. But I really wish I did...

**Characters - **Various WWE Characters (too many to name)

**Summary -** The WWE Superstars and Divas are forced to go to "Camp WWE". Amongst these men and women are rivals, exlovers, and even friends. Some new romances are formed while old one's are started back up…

**Chapter Four**

After they all settled into the cabin they were informed by the only woman in the cabin that it was 'inadequate' and 'nippy'. However, the three men didn't care what she said for she was, in the words of Rock, just as retarded as Maria. Which was a cruel statement, but still...Completely true. While Molly gave her full inspection of the cabin Rosey tried to save a stuffed cat from falling to the floor from the ceiling fan - as Hurricane stated - it was for super hero training.

"I am the S.H.I.T!" Rosey exclaimed as he jumped off the bunk bed.

However, to his luck he only hit his head on the ceiling and then hit his stomach on the bar on the bunk bed and then fell onto his back on the floor. He laid there with wide eyes and his mouth wide open as everyone stared at him.

"Whatsupwitthat?" Hurricane exclaimed as he crossed his arms.

Rock stared at Hurricane and then at the stuffed cat that was flung out of the widow.

"YOU BROKE THE WINDOW!" Rock exclaimed.

"Opps..." Rosey mumbled as he got up, wincing in pain.

"You better pay for that!" Rock hissed.

"Now we'll freeze to death at night! Or be eaten alive by squirrels!" Molly cried.

Hurricane raised an eyebrow, "Squirrels?"

"YES SQUIRRELS!" Molly snapped.

"There are no squirrels in this environment. If we would be eaten by anything it'd be bears." Hurricane informed her.

"I heard women's periods attract bears." Rosey added.

Rock, Molly and Hurricane all stared at him.

"From where?" Hurricane asked.

"Anchorman." Rosey mumbled.

"That was a true story." Hurricane pointed out.

"Damn, it was." Rock cursed.

"You can't be serious! Bears? Periods? They don't connect in any way!" Molly argued.

"Yes they do! Bears eat women, who have periods!" Hurricane insisted.

"Or squirrels." Rosey teased.

"Eww, don't even get into that!" Rock warned.

"Please." Molly agreed.

**-x-**

"Trish, you do have a big ass… Just admit it!" Jason exclaimed as Trish crossed her arms.

"NO! I don't have a big ass! Take it back!" Trish snapped.

"Just take a look in the mirror!" Gail offered.

"Shut up!" Both Jason and Trish ordered.

"Fine." Gail mumbled before she sat down on the bed.

Show got off the other bed and put his hands on Trish and Jason's shoulders.

"MY GOD!" Trish exclaimed as she looked at him, jumping slightly.

Jason rolled his eyes as Show said, "Now… Having a big ass isn't all that bad. In fact, guys like girls with big butts. Just listen to Sir Mix A Lot He likes big butts."

"Sir Mix A Lot?" Trish echoed.

"Yeah, Sir Mix A Lot." Show replied.

"He's a low-life-scum-rapper! Why on earth would I care what he thinks?" Trish snapped.

"Hey, I resent that!" Someone yelled.

Trish rolled her eyes, "SHUT UP JOHN! I WASN'T TALKING ABOUT YOU!"

"Sure you weren't." John replied as he stepped into the room.

"She was talking about Sir Mix A Lot." Jason informed him.

"An' what, may I ask, is wrong wit' Sir Mix A Lot?" John questioned.

"He likes big butts." Gail piped up.

"I like big butts." John replied. "That make me a low-life-scum-rappa too?"

"No, you're just a low-life-scum-rapper anyway." Trish assured him.

"Woman, you're cruel. I ain't a low-life-scum-rappa…" John stated.

"Right, keep telling yourself that." Trish teased.

"Ya know what? I'm outta here." John snapped.

"Good, then maybe we can have some PEACE!" Trish yelled after him as he walked out.

"Whateva." Came John's response.

**-x-**

After a long first day they were all ready to turn in the for the night, Rosey commenting that the squirrels might just attack if Molly were to go to sleep. However, this turned out to be an extremely bad idea as Molly sat up the entire night screaming whenever there was a sound outside. While Rock, Rosey and Hurricane were kept up by Molly's annoying loud screams they were also kept up my mosquitoes and other insects that entered the room. Soon they were all trying to kill them all with fly swatters. On a few occasions one of them would purposely smack Molly so she'd shut up.

"Ah, a bear!" Rosey exclaimed.

"WHERE!" Molly cried.

"There! There! Get it hamburger!" Rock ordered as he pointed.

Hurricane quickly drop kicked the 'bear' and then smacked it a few times with a fly swatter before he kicked it in the stomach and then delivered an elbow drop.

"DIE! DIE! DIE!" Hurricane screamed as he beat on the 'bear'.

"Is it dead" Molly asked.

"No… I doubt it'd be dead." Rock replied as they watched Hurricane beat on the 'bear'.

Hurricane got on top of the bunk bed and leaped off of it onto the 'bear' before he started hitting it with his fists. After a good five minutes Rock stepped in and pulled Hurricane off of the 'bear'.

"That's enough…" Rock mumbled.

The four stood over the 'bear' before they turned on the lights.

"Shit." Hurricane exclaimed.

"What?" Rosey replied.

"Not you…." Hurricane responded.

"Ah… Is he dead?" Molly asked.

Rock looked puzzled at the 'bear' before he poked him a few times, then checked the 'bears' pulse.

"He's alive." Rock informed them.

"Well… I don't think anyone will care that we beat him up." Hurricane stated.

"Probably not." Rock agreed, nodding.

The 'bear' was knocked out on the cabin floor, not moving except for when they shoved him out of the door before they slammed it shut.

"If anyone asks.. We didn't do anything." Rock warned everyone.

**-x-**

The next morning Coach was found knocked out in the middle of the camp, a few vultures were forming circles in the sky as they waited to make their attack. A few squirrels ran onto the scene and started hitting their nuts on his head. One of them chucked the brown nut at his head, attempting to break the nut open. Just before they ran away Eric Bischoff, Johnny Ace and Teddy Long stepped out of their cabin. Minutes later most of the roster stepped out of their cabins to head to breakfast, all stopping to stare at Coach's motionless body.

"Wow, what happened here?" Hurricane asked, pretending he didn't do anything.

"I don't know." Rock replied.

"You beat him up!" Molly exclaimed.

Hurricane, Rock and Rosey all stared at her before she took off running. The three exchanged a look before they chased after her, shouting as they did so. Austin started laughing before he poured a beer over Coach's head, causing him to wake up.

"AH!" Coach exclaimed as he sat up, shaking the beer off himself.

"Good morning you little bitch… Have a nice sleep?" Austin taunted.

"Where am I?" Coach asked. "_Who_ am I?"

"Oh come on!" Eric complained.

"He's stupider than Eugene." Hunter commented.

"Or just as stupid… It's really close." Jericho added.

"Awfully close." Ric agreed.

Teddy sighed, "He has no use now."

"We can use him for target shooting!" Austin commented.

"We could, but that'd be a huge law suit." Johnny Ace replied.

"Well… We could use him for a dummy for all the wrestlers to use when they practice." Eric pointed out.

"Who am I?" Coach asked again.

"The 'stunt' man of the WWE, why you do all the extremely hard move-taking stuff." Eric informed him.

"I am? Wow, I never would have…Thought." Coach replied. "What's my name?"

"Dick." Austin stated.

"Dick… That is a nice name." 'Dick' (Coach) responded.

"Definitely." Teddy and Johnny agreed.

Jericho and a few others were laughing hysterically as 'Dick' (Coach) got off the ground and started skipping around like a fag. While Amy, John, Randy, Maria, Kurt and Rey all went back into their cabin to get John to start breathing again, he was laughing so hard he could barely breath. Kurt kept talking about serious things, such as kitties and puppies. However, the man only laughed harder. Maria started dancing around, however she ran into a wall and knocked herself out. The dark haired man laughed even harder until Amy slapped him across the face.

"Oww! Why'd you do that?" He exclaimed, holding his cheek.

"You were scaring Randy." Amy replied innocently.

"Ch, yeah---wait! What?" Randy snapped.

Amy smiled innocently before she turned her attention back to John, "See… He's confused now."

"I am NOT confused…!" Randy hissed, crossing his arms.

"Is she okay?" Kurt asked as he stared at Maria.

"She'll be fine… And if not, we can always tell her, her name is Pussy." Amy replied sarcastically.

"True." Kurt agreed as John started laughing again.

Amy smacked him again before she turned to face Kurt.

"We should probably tell someone that she knocked herself out, but---hey!" Amy started, before she yelled at John.

John had grabbed her by the waist and pulled her onto his lap, a smirk upon his face as she glared at him over her shoulder.

"What, may I ask, is your problem?" Amy hissed.

"You slapped me." John replied.

"So! That doesn't mean you can touch me…" Amy stated, crossing her arms.

"Does too." John responded.

"Does NOT!" Amy yelled, slamming her foot down onto his.

"Ow, that hurt!" John exclaimed sarcastically.

"BREAKFAST!" Eugene screamed over the loud speaker.

"Who gave him the speaker?" Vince asked after he spit out his eggs.

"Eugene, my boy! Get back here!" Regal called as Eugene ran around in circles.

"Dick, move out of my way!" Austin snapped, shoving 'Dick' (Coach) out of the way.

"Have we lost all control?" Linda exclaimed as they walked out of the cabin to see people fighting.

Eugene was running around everyone and even clotheslined a few people. Rock, Hurricane and Rosey had successfully hung Molly on the flag pole. Austin was spitting on 'Dick' (Coach) while Amy and was chasing after John for a reason only known by Kurt, Rey and Randy. Rey was tripping people as they ran past him, Hunter and Jericho were fighting with no regard for anyone around them as Jericho tossed Ric into Hunter. Eric, Teddy and Johnny were trying to put the blame on one-another while in the middle of the fight. Vince started yelling, slapping people as he stormed to the group of men.

"What is going on here?" Vince snapped.

"He started it!" Johnny and Teddy replied, pointing at Eric.

"Errrric! You're FIRED! Wait… You can have an even greater punishment!" Vince hissed.

Eric looked terrified as Vince yelled at everyone to stop, they all froze except Eugene, who was still running around.

"You will switch spots with Kurt! KURT! You'll be staying with Ace, Long and Coach! Get your butt moving and move into your new 'home'. Eric, you're going to be staying with Amy, John, Randy, Rey and Maria!" Vince ordered.

"WHAT! NO!" Eric screamed before he broke down crying.

Vince shook his head as he directed traffic, sending everyone to the cafeteria as he scolded Eric for letting this happen. Shane, Stephanie and Linda all watched in amazement as Kurt and Eric switched cabins. John, Randy, Rey and Amy all commented that they wouldn't like the idea of Eric staying with them. To the surprise of Randy and Rey, Amy seemed to have forgotten that she was mad at John. While Rock, Hurricane and Rosey were forced to get Molly off the flag pole they purposely dropped her on her head before they walked off to the cafeteria.

_**To Be Continued…**_


	5. Chapter 5

**Lights Out**

**Disclaimer - **I own nobody.. But I really wish I did...

**Characters - **Various WWE Characters (too many to name)

**Summary -** The WWE Superstars and Divas are forced to go to "Camp WWE". Amongst these men and women are rivals, exlovers, and even friends. Some new romances are formed while old one's are started back up…

**Chapter Five**

While Jericho and Austin took it upon themselves to make Dick's life a living hell during training. He had gotten at least five stunners, while he was now locked in the 'Walls Of Jericho'. Those who were watching were all laughing and betting on how long it'd take Dick to tap out. The only person that said two minutes was Rey, everyone laughed at him until Dick wasn't tapping out, and in about two minutes he finally tapped out. Rey smirked, gathering his earnings.

"Damn... The little midget won!" Show complained.

"We could chokeslam him." Kane pointed out.

For no reason what-so-ever Show and Kane picked up Rey and actually chokeslammed him. Everyone was staring at the two monsters as they started laughing.

"You people are cruel! Why would you do that to Rey?" Amy snapped as she slapped Kane.

Everyone stared at the two; Torrie, Maven and Benoit thought she'd surely get chokeslammed too, but Kane, being a wimp, backed off and then ran away crying. Those who were scared of Kane were still trying to process how or why that happened, although a few people walked up to Amy and asked her if they could pay her protection against Kane. John commented that she could make a lot of money off it, however he only received a dirty look.

"I still haven't forgotten what you did!" Amy hissed.

"I... I didn't mean to drop ya." John mumbled, scratching his neck.

"You dropped her?" Dave asked.

"Not on purpose!" John insisted.

"Why did you pick her up in the first place?" Hunter questioned.

"She was in my lap!" John replied.

"Why was she in your lap?" Randy teased.

"YOU ALREADY KNOW!" John snapped.

"So... Why was she?" Jason asked.

"I pulled her onto my lap." John explained.

"Why did you do that?" Jericho questioned as he got out of the ring.

"I... I... I'll tell ya lata." John mumbled.

"No, tell us now. Amy may want to know why." Dave stated.

"What is it with you guys? I pulled her on my lap 'cos she slapped me! And... I dropped her." John declared.

"Tell them what happened between the time you pulled her on your lap and the time you dropped her." Randy ordered.

"NO!" John snapped.

"Tell us!"

"Fine..." John scowled. "I kissed her... She bit my tongue."

"I did no such thing!" Amy protested.

"So you kissed him back?" Benoit asked with a grin.

"NO! I did NOT! But I didn't bite his tongue... I tried to rip it off." Amy informed them before she crossed her arms.

"Poor John." Dave mumbled.

"Poor Amy! Her mouth is infected with his germs!" Jason shrieked.

John stared at the two, Dave pointing to Jason before the big man inched away.

"What'd you say?" John questioned with a scowl.

"I said that you infected her mouth with your germs! Why? Are you going to do something about it?" Jason asked as he raised an eyebrow.

"HELL YEAH! FIGHT!" Austin shouted out after he was done pouring beer over Dick's head.

"OH NO! There will be no such thing!" Eric snapped as he came between John and Jason.

"Eww, Eric.. What the hell are you wearing?" Hunter questioned.

"I am wearing clothes, thank you very much." Eric replied.

"Looks like a sweat suit... A _pink_ sweat suit, at that." Dave commented.

"Fuck off!" Eric hissed.

"Don't be giving John ideas now." Amy interrupted.

"Woman, I am not _that_ obsessed with sex." John protested.

"You'd screw anything in a skirt." Amy stated.

"Well, you're wearin' pants.. An' I'd screw you." John countered.

"Too much information." Both Jericho and Benoit stated with a disgusted look.

"Yeah, I agree with them." Amy replied as she gave John a dirty look.

"Oh, ya know you wanna fuck me." John stated with a wink.

"Eww, John, please, stop.." Eric begged.

"Go away, Bitchoff." Austin snapped before he kicked Eric in the shin.

"OW!" Eric squealed.

"What do I do now?" Dick asked as he got up to his feet.

"Let Pussy practice her finisher on you.." Amy replied as she pointed at Maria.

Maria blinked, "Who?"

"Never mind.. she still has her memory."

"Let Maria practice her finisher."

Maria jumped up and down before she started running around a tree, Eugene screaming before he charged at her, shockingly clotheslining her on her third time around the tree.

"What the fuck is everyone's problem?" Ric exclaimed. "YOU ALL NEED HELP!"

"Let's just go back to the cabin, Ric." Hunter offered.

"Yeah, so you can fuck each other before we come back." Jericho agreed.

"Put a sock in it Jericho."

"Did someone say, SOCKO?" Mankind questioned as he lurked behind some trees.

"That guy has problems.."

"Say hello to Mr. SOCKO!" Mankind screamed in Eric's ear before he shoved the sock down his throat.

"Snap, that's some weird shit." John exclaimed.

Mankind flung Eric around, causing him to slap Ric, Hunter, John and even Dick.

"You'd think he'd have better morals..." Molly commented.

Hurricane scowled before he leaped onto Rosey's shoulders and then shockingly hit a moonsault on Molly.

**-x-**

"Happy Birthday!" Maria shrieked as she leaped into the cabin.

"Can I please shoot myself?" Eric asked.

"Um, no.. You can't. I will be alone with John and Randy.. And John wants to 'screw' me." Amy replied.

"Well at least I ain't lyin' 'bout it." John mumbled.

"Still, it is deeply disturbing.." Amy commented.

"John, have I ever told you that there is such a thing as being too honest." Randy pointed out as he put a hand on John's shoulder.

"Well, at least if we get togetha' she'll know that I'll be honest wit' her." John stated.

"Like you'd ever get the chance!" Amy snapped.

"Ya know ya want me, babe. All ya hafta do is ask an' consider it done." John replied.

Amy stared at John and then Randy, "Can we switch bunks? I don't really want to be on top of John.. Gives him ideas that he doesn't really need to have."

"'Cuse me? I won't rape ya in your sleep, if that's what you're getting' at.." John insisted.

Maria was twirling a strand of her hair around her index finger as Eric began to brush his teeth, the older man watching as Austin and Jericho dragged Rey into the cabin.

"What the hell? Why is he still out?" John asked quickly.

"He got double chokeslammed by two monsters on a very hard surface.. Don't you think it'd be logical that he'd be knocked out?" Jericho hissed.

Randy smirked, "John has a problem with facts… He can't tell the difference between them."

"Shut up, pretty boy. Go back in your fuckin' hole."

"My so-call 'hole' just so happens to be inside Amy." Randy countered.

Amy looked disgusted, "I hate both of you, you know that?"

"Randy, ya touch my woman and I'll kill ya." John warned.

"I'm not even yours!" Amy exclaimed.

"But ya will be.. I don't want ya to be contaminated by that pansy's germs." John stated.

"I am NOT a pansy!" Randy protested.

"I beg to differ!" John snapped.

"You suck!" Randy sneered.

"STOP MISTAKING ME FOR YOU, YOU JACKASS!" John yelled.

"HEY! That's MY word, bitch!" Jericho interrupted.

"Please stop fighting, it's not nice!" Maria exclaimed.

"SHUT UP!" Randy and John snapped.

Amy rolled her eyes as the two men continued to argue, the redhead pushing them apart before she delivered a hard slap to both of their faces. Jericho smirking as Austin encouraged the violence.

"BOTH OF YOU STOP IT!" Amy ordered. "And just for the record.. I'm NOT interested in either one of you! You're children! Immature! Now sit the fuck down and be quiet! Don't talk unless I say you can, understand?"

The two men exchanged a look before they did as told, Eric looking on in shock as he shook his head.

"Why can't I get people to do that for me?" Eric mumbled.

"Because you're a pansy." Austin replied.

"No one asked you!" Eric snapped.

Amy sent the two of them a dirty look, Eric freaked out and began to do his hair as he stared in the mirror that was pinned against the wall of the cabin. Austin only laughed at Eric before he and Jericho would say their goodbyes and leave the cabin. The redhead taking a seat on the bunk bed that Randy was on, not wanting to be near John, even if Randy was just as equally perverted in her opinion.. He was less likely to try something. The Stanford native crossing her legs as she brought them off them floor, the legend killer staring at her as he cracked his knuckles out of pure boredom.

"When can I get up?" Randy asked.

"Did I say you could talk?" Amy snapped.

"No, but.. I have to go to the bathroom." Randy complained.

"Then go… No wait, never mind.. I wouldn't want you to pee on the bed.. Eric may not want to sleep in pee tonight." Amy stated.

"Thanks for thinking about me." Eric muttered as he took a seat on the said bunk bed.

"No problem." Amy replied with a smile.

"So, can I get up?" Randy questioned again.

"Fine, go to the bathroom.. But Eric is going with you." Amy informed him.

"What? I'm not gay, I don't want to help him--" Eric began.

"Eww, Eric.. No, I just want you to make sure he goes directly there and comes directly back." Amy responded quickly.

Randy got up, leaving the cabin, and was shortly followed by an unwilling Eric Bischoff. John scoffed.

"If he can get up.. I outta be able to get up." John insisted.

"But you'll rape me if you get up." Amy shot back.

"I'm not that mean, Amy. I just want to get up.. It's been how long?" John asked.

"Ten minutes.. Ten measly minutes."

"Shut up.. I feel like I'm in jail."

"You wanna know how it feels to really be in jail?"

"No, not really."

"Then shut the hell up!"

After a good five minutes Randy and Eric returned, the two taking their previous seats on the bunk bed while Maria took it upon herself to sit next to John.

"Can I get up? I don't wanna be near her.." John questioned.

"No.. Shut up." Amy snapped.

Within another five minutes Rey finally came around, the short wrestler complaining about back pains before he was informed on the situation at hand.

"That sucks.. Eric is gonna be in the same cabin as us?" Rey asked. "He's like.. An asshole."

"You do realize that I'm sitting right here, right?"

Rey glanced at Eric, "I am well aware of that.. Frankly, I don't care.. You left me in the DESSERT! With no food, water.. Shelter! You're mean!"

"Like I said before.. Sorry about that."

"No! Shane and Stephanie said sorry! You said, he's just a midget!" Rey snapped.

"Well.. I'm sorry." Eric stated.

Rey eyed the occupants of both bunk beds, debating on which bed would be safe to sit on. Maria looked like she was deep in some sort of thought, John looked annoyed by Maria, Amy looked irritated by John as he complained about being by Maria, Randy looked bored and Eric looked like he'd prefer to be any where else but here. The cruiserweight finally setting on the bunk with Randy, Amy and Eric without a word..

_**To Be Continued…**_


	6. Chapter 6

**Lights Out**

**Disclaimer - **I own nobody.. But I really wish I did...

**Characters - **Various WWE Characters (too many to name)

**Summary -** The WWE Superstars and Divas are forced to go to "Camp WWE". Amongst these men and women are rivals, exlovers, and even friends. Some new romances are formed while old one's are started back up…

**Chapter Six**

With a sigh, Trish left the cabin she shared with Jason, Gail and Big Show. The blonde wanting to get away from them as they had been insulting her for a good ten minutes now. She rolled her eyes once she caught sight of Randy flirting with Torrie Wilson, the diva smacking Randy upside the head before she crossed her arms. Randy look upon a confused look.

"What?" Randy questioned as Torrie glared at Trish.

"What? What do you mean, what?" Trish snapped.

"Why did you slap me upside the head?" Randy asked quickly.

"Because you're a moron! All men are morons!"

"Is this about John dumping you?" Torrie inquired with a grin.

Randy tried not to laugh as Trish raised a hand, "Don't you dare talk about him!"

She smacked Torrie's arm, the blonde sticking her tongue out at Trish as she stormed off.

"She has problems.."

"That she does, now.. Where were we?" Randy questioned with a smirk.

Torrie grinned, "I think you were just about to ask me out..."

"I think you're right.. So, Torrie, will you go out with me?"

"Of course."

**-x-**

Meanwhile, Amy and Rey were playing a game of poker, John was watching with great interest, Eric was doing his hair again and Maria was asking Eric a load of weird questions.

"Are you straight?"

"What kind of question is that? Who the hell told you to ask me these things?" Eric snapped.

"Chris Jericho!"

Chris Jericho, who was looking in through the window, cursed before he ran away, Eric just catching sight of him as he did so.

"JERICHO!"

Eric dashed out of the cabin and chased after Jericho, who was much faster than him and smarter as well. While Rey had won the fifth game in a row, John took upon an evil grin.

"Maybe y'all should play strip poker.. Or hell, I'd join ya." John commented.

Rey and Amy glared at him, "What?"

"I'm bored.. Strip poker would be interestin'.. I mean, ya gotta admit.. Amy would love to see me naked."

"Eww, no I wouldn't." Amy shook her head and shuttered at the thought of John Cena naked.

"Well, even if you wouldn't.. I would still love to see ya naked."

"John, please, shut up." Rey begged as he began to shuffle the cards.

"Fine, I'll make ya a deal. If we play strip poker, and if I lose.. I will neva hit on Amy again. But if I win... Amy hasta sleep with me."

"Um, how about no? If I lose, I'll go out on a date with you. That's more reasonable." Amy corrected.

"Fine, a date it is. But that doesn't mean ya can't fuck me."

Amy tossed a dirt look John's way, the dark haired wrestler smirking as he winked at her. Rey looking a little disgusted as he dealt out the cards, warning John that he didn't want to hear his comments if Amy were to take off any of her clothing.

**-x-**

Trish now found herself alone by a lake, or at least the only lake in this deserted area. She was actually surprised that the camp actually had grass. The area was pretty much a lake that was surrounded by rocks and grass. The grass was a little hot, being that it was May. Trish sighed as she picked up a rock and tossed it into the water, looking up at the light blue sky before she got up and dipped a foot in the water.

"You know, it may be safe to say that Jericho is dead."

Trish glared over her shoulder as Hunter walked down the small hill that lead to the lake.

"Well isn't that good news?" Trish replied sarcastically.

"Definitely. He's a little annoying at times."

"Yeah." Trish agreed with a shrug.

"Why are you out here?" Hunter asked.

"Because Gail said I had a big ass.. fake boobs.. and the only reason I was ever women's champion was because I gave Vince head." Trish sighed.

"So you're mad at Gail?"

"Not just Gail. Jason and Show _agreed _with her. Of all people.. Jason and Show.."

"You don't think Jason was just kidding around?" Hunter questioned.

"Jason's just an asshole."

"Maybe Amy said something to him..."

"Probably not her, most likely Gail. Amy may be one of his best friends, but she's my friend too." Trish replied.

Hunter shrugged, "Mind if I join you? Look like you could use some company."

Trish smiled softly, "Sure. I think that'd be nice to talk to someone."

Hunter took a seat next to Trish the two of them sitting on the edge of a rather large rock, Trish's feet dipped into the warm water.

"Why are you being so nice?" Trish asked, breaking the silence.

Hunter laughed, "I'm not always an ass. Guess my character makes me that way."

"Your character is a cocky bitch." Trish pointed out.

"Well, I can get cocky.. and I can get bitchy."

"You sound like Amy."

"She never gets cocky..."

"Oh yes she does. When it comes to competition.. She beats you? Consider her the cockiest woman in the world. She'll rub it in."

"All in good fun, though."

"Maybe, but.. She is competitive."

"Take it that you wish you were in the same cabin as her?"

"Yeah, I don't like Gail. She's an uptight whore."

"Maybe you can get Randy, John, Maria, Rey or Eric to switch with you?"

"Eric wouldn't.. Rey and Ames are close. John wants to 'screw' her.. So he won't. Randy won't because I slapped him upside the head--"

"Why did you do that?"

"Because he's a man."

"Oh."

"Yeah, but then again.. John is in that cabin.. I don't really want to be near him."

"Why is that?"

"He's my ex." Trish admitted.

**-x-**

"I'm so gonna beat ya.." John stated with a smirk.

Rey was still fully clothed, though he called it quits because he wanted to take a nap before training. Amy was in stuck in her undergarments, John was in a t-shirt and his boxers. The redhead scowling at him before she laid down her cards, John's smirk grew as he laid down his own cards.

"Damn you!"

"What can I say? I'm good, babe."

"I'm not taking off my bra or underwear.. I quit."

"Guess that means you're gonna go out wit' me then?"

"Yes, that means you win." Amy admitted as she rolled her eyes.

"YAY!" Maria exclaimed.

"Shut up." Amy snapped.

John grew serious for a minute, "Where do ya want me to take ya for this date?"

"Anywhere that isn't near Maria or Eric... Or Randy... Or you..."

"One problem.."

"What's that?"

"It hasta be near me."

"Nope," Amy replied.

"Too bad for ya, I have witnesses that can and will say that you hafta go out _with_ me."

"You've got a mentally retarded person and Rey-rey... Rey-rey would _never_ say it!"

"Say what?" Rey questioned.

"That I have to go out with John."

Rey stared at them, "Ames.. You do. A deal is a deal."

"REY!" Amy exclaimed.

"Good boy." John praised him. "Now, about our date.."

"Not happening."

"Oh it is, how 'bout.. we ask Shane if we can borrow his car and then we can go into town... Go to a movie, go out to eat.. Get a hotel room... and then come back?" John offered.

"Sure, we can go to a movie and then go out to eat.. But no hotel room."

"So ya wanna do it in Shane's car? Interestin'.."

"Shut up."

"Sorry, I can't do that."

"That much is obvious."

**-x-**

"Where the hell is Jericho? And Hunter...?" Austin yelled as he came into the cabin, waking up Ric.

"I don't want to go to school, mommy!" Ric screamed as he held onto his blanket.

"Well you have problems.." Austin mumbled as he shook his head.

Austin glared out the door, catching a glimpse of Chris running and Eric 'walking' after him, Eric tripped over a rock and fell into a puddle of mud.

"Well that sucks."

"Austin! Where's Hunter?" Ric asked.

Austin glared at Ric, "That's what I just asked you, you dumb bitch!"

Ric blinked, "Oh my god! He was kidnapped by aliens!"

"Sure, if aliens are Trish Stratus.."

"What?"

"Shut up, bitch, that's my word!"

"No, what are you talking about?"

"Trish.. Her and Hunter are coming back from that pool of water."

"You mean the lake?"

"Yeah, that thing."

"Oh my god! Maybe they slept together!"

"Oh my god! He cheated on you!"

"Austin, that isn't funny."

"Sure it is."

**-x-**

"You do realize that what happened at the lake, stays at the lake, right?" Trish asked.

"Yeah, I realize that. I won't tell anyone."

"Good, I'll see you later."

Hunter smirked as he headed back to the cabin, Ric pushing past Austin to hug Hunter.

"I WOKE UP AND YOU WERE GONE!"

A few people poked their heads out the door, glaring at Hunter and Ric, Hunter shoving Ric away.

"Man, I was only gone for what, half an hour? Get a grip.."

Austin smirked as Hunter and Ric entered the cabin, "Did you cheat on Ric?"

"AUSTIN!" Ric screamed.

Hunter only looked disgusted as he shook his head, "No... Ew... I don't do anything with Ric."

"Ric is gay." Ric added.

"Ric... You are Ric."

"Oh... I mean. Ric is straight!" Ric corrected himself.

"Sure he is." Austin mumbled.

Chris ran back into the cabin, shutting and locking the door before he hopped on the bunk.

"Hey, Jericho. How's Eric?" Austin asked.

"Oh he fell in a puddle of mud." Jericho stated.

"I seen that, why was he chasing you?" Austin questioned.

"I asked Maria to ask him if he was gay, nothing big." Jericho shrugged.

**-x-**

Half an hour later Vince called all the superstars out of their cabins so he could introduce some new people to them. With a smirk Vince started talking about the WWE not being 'fresh' enough. And that they needed some new entertainment for the fans. Everyone, save for a few of the idiots in the group, nodded their head and listened carefully. After Vince was finished he announced that the bus would be there shortly and that they needed to stay out so they could meet the new 'fresh-ness' of the WWE. While they waited, they talked.

John crossed his arms, "I can't believe he interrupted my game of strip poker for this shit.."

"I still can't believe it took you two are playing _another_ game of strip poker." Rey commented.

"I'm not about to let John Cena take me out on a date." Amy stated, hazel eyes narrowing at John as she covered herself by crossing her arms over her chest.

"An' I'm not 'bout to let you not go out on a date with me." John declared, Rey shaking his head.

Just as John finished his sentence Randy and Torrie walked up to the group, Randy raised an eyebrow at John and Amy.

"Where did your shirts go?"

"What is Torrie doin' here?" John questioned quickly.

"Haven't you heard? We're going out!" Randy informed them cheerfully.

"Yeah, for like.. an hour and a half." Torrie pointed out.

"Doesn't matter, you're still mine." Randy replied.

Amy and John watched as Randy stole a kiss from Torrie, the two staring at each other before they started making out. Amy shook her head, turning away, while John wrapped an arm around Amy's shoulders.

"You know.. That could be us tomorrow." John stated. "Hell, why wait until tomorrow?"

"John.. Shut up."

"Make me." John stuck out his tongue, childishly.

Rey glanced at the two, curiously watching Amy to see what she would do to 'make him' shut up. Then he shuttered at the possibilities. The small wrestler deciding not to wait around to see as he ran off to go find Hurricane and Rosey. John smirked at Amy, who only shook her head.

"I would make you, but.. Vince wouldn't appreciate my killing one of his superstars." Amy declared.

"What, the kiss of death?" John inquired.

Amy stared at him for a moment before she kicked him in the shin, John cursed, bending over to hold his shin. The redhead smirked, the sound of Vince's cheery voice caused everyone to glare at him and then at the road.

"THEY'RE HERE!" Vince yelled.

Shane and Vince gave each other a high five before they watched the green bus pull up.

"Sure..they get a better bus." Jericho mumbled.

"And they get a GREEN bus!" Kurt complained.

Dave glared at him, "So?"

"Green is without a doubt the best color ever." Hurricane declared.

"Yeah." Kurt agreed.

Johnny Ace coughed, "Red, white and blue Kurt... Red, white and blue!"

"OH! That's right! Red, white and blue are the best colors!" Kurt insisted with a smirk, Ace patted him on the back.

"Good, Olympic Gold Medalist."

The bus came to a stop before them, the door opened. Everyone stared at the bus, waiting to see who was on it.. Then suddenly five cheery men leaped off the bus dressed in green attire. Vince smirked and clapped while all the WWE superstars and divas blinked.

"What the fuck!"

Everyone glared at Austin, who shook his head and opened a beer, downing some before he chucked it at the male cheerleaders.

"HEY!" One of them screamed, just moving out of the way in time.

"Austin! You're going to be fired if you abuse my new talent! That goes for everyone! You touch them or so much as make fun of them.. I will FIRE you!" Vince warned.

The group of superstars and divas stayed silent as they watched the five men cheer. They weren't sure what to expect next, they weren't sure what to expect at all.. And what could this mean? Getting male cheerleaders? Could they be given odd storylines now? One thing they knew for sure was that Vince was probably drunk or high... Either way, male cheer leaders are a little extreme for their standards. The cheerleaders stopped cheering so Vince could speak once more and introduce them.

"So please welcome.. The Spirit Squad!" Vince ordered as he presented them.

"Welcome to Camp WWE..." Everyone mumbled.

_**To Be Continued...**_


	7. Chapter 7

**Lights Out**

**Disclaimer - **I own nobody.. But I really wish I did...

**Characters - **Various WWE Characters (too many to name)

**Summary -** The WWE Superstars and Divas are forced to go to "Camp WWE". Amongst these men and women are rivals, exlovers, and even friends. Some new romances are formed while old one's are started back up…

**Inside View - **New layout-like format thing.. Lol, whatever you want to call it. Well, read the previous chapters for events.. Cabins and etc. I must say, I'm truly sorry for the length between updates. Right now it's mostly trying to find the time and energy to update, not that I don't have the time.. Just need the inspiration lately. Well, now I'm hoping to update at least once a week.. But my goal is to try and update a story a day. It'd suit the stories I've ignored some justice. Let's hope this update exceeds expectations…

**Chapter Seven**

After the Spirit Squad did a quick cheer they were cut loose again, most of them returned to their cabin.. A few set off for the mess hall in hopes of a afternoon snack. However, most hadn't had the slightest clue of the agenda today. The announcements bulletin was practically empty, save for the fact that Coach, or Dick, was still trying to find the shoe that he had lost.. Which was quite odd seeing how he still had _both _of his shoes on his feet, most shrugged it off, while a few took up the task of trying to convince him that he still had his shoe. Meanwhile, in Cabin Five the six were joined by Christy Hemme, Eugene and Carlito. Christy, obviously, there for Maria, Eugene there to annoy his uncle and no one really knew why Carlito was there.. They guessed he was just there. So they left it at that. Christy and Maria took it upon themselves to play a game of blackjack, however they were playing it awfully wrong as they kept slapping each other whenever the other said, "Hit Me". It was quite the sight, though. An entertaining game for those who watched. Though John, still cocky on his win against Amy earlier, was thinking of what they could do on their date.. Sex being a number one priority on the young man's mind. Whilst Amy watched John like a hawk, trying to read his thoughts as she narrowed her eyes at him.. That bastard was sure as hell having a fun time thinking, which was _not_ normal. Eric, however, was trying to get Eugene to leave. Eugene only clapped his hands and pointed at Eric, telling him that he could see him.. The older man's nephew insisted that they should go outside and play tag or some sort of child-like game that was like tag, but not exactly.

"For the millionth time, Eugene, I do NOT want to play pin the tail on the fucking donkey!" Eric snarled. "Don't you have other people to annoy?"

Eugene looked on the verge of tears, the dark haired boy-like man ran out of the cabin as the tears flowed easily down his cheek. Randy and Rey glaring at him as if he were a cold hearted uncle scrooge. Both their eyes narrowing, Rey shook his head, getting up to exit.. Stopping only to spit on Eric before he jogged after Eugene. Randy, following suit got up as well, but he only spit in Eric's face and then sat back down, crossing his arms as he muttered curse words. Eric, a little disgusted, wiped the spit off his forehead, and chin in Rey's case..

"Can't believe this.." Eric muttered. "I can't believe my fucking luck…"

Randy snorted, "Well believe it _old_ man."

"You're one to talk.. Isn't your daddy an old man? Or wait, I didn't know _dinosaurs_ still roamed the earth!" Eric retorted harshly.

"Don't you talk about my dad that way, Bitchoff!" Randy snapped, immediately on his feet. "Or else I'll have to RKO you, but then again.. You're no legend, so you would be worth my time."

"Pfft. Talk about a daddy's boy.. Or maybe you're a momma's boy? I hear you're really a 'family' guy type.. But you don't look the type--" Eric started with a smirk.

"Will y'all shut the fuck up?" John questioned suddenly. "I'm tryin' to think here!"

Amy smirked, "You know how to think?"

"Woman, I know how to do a hell lot more than think, if you know what I mean, that is.." John winked at the redhead, who shuttered.

"Are you always a pervert?" Amy asked, hazel eyes narrowing.

"Only when it comes to you, babe. Let's face it, you should jus' sleep with me an' get it over with." John said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

Amy rolled her eyes, "When was the last time you got laid, seriously?"

"Um, I don't even remember, but that's beside the point.. You sleepin' with me would make it easier on you.. I mean, I'd prolly stop being perverted." John stated.

"Hmm, really? So, if I sleep with you.. You will stop talking to me?" Amy inquired curiously.

"Um, no.. I'd talk to you, jus' in a less perverted fashion or whatever." John corrected.

"Really now? We go out, we talk, we have sex.. And you'll stop being perverted?" Amy asked.

"Yeah." John nodded, smirking.

Amy thought, "Let's see…No."

"What?" John burst out, shocked.

"I'm not going to sleep with you just to get you to leave me alone.. Besides, I could always ask Randy - I mean Big Show - to kick your ass." Amy replied, crossing her arms.

"HEY!" Randy exclaimed, appalled at the woman's words. "I could kick his ass!"

"Yeah, if he was blind folded, had his arms tied behind his back and tied up in the ropes…" Amy muttered.

"Again with the cruelty.. Do you have no heart?" Randy questioned, putting a hand to his own heart.

Amy shrugged, "Haven't found the time to search for it, sorry.."

"An' here I wonder.. why do I want to have sex with you?" John mumbled, the diva smacking him.

"Not that I want to have sex with you, but don't you dare question why!" Amy snapped.

"An' now.. I know why I want to have sex with you." John smirked, day dreaming about them being together.

Amy, again, smacked John, "Don't you dare 'day dream' about me Johnathan!"

John raised an eyebrow at that, "Johnathan? That ain't even my name--"

"Sure.. John is short for Johnathan--"

"Actually," Randy coughed. "It's just John.. No Johnathan or whatever.."

"Whatever." Amy muttered. "Who even gives a damn what his name is."

"I, actually, do." John spoke up. "It is, in fact, my name.."

"Whatever." Was the only thing the redhead could say, her attention drifting off to the card game of Maria and Christy.

**-x-**

Jazz had had enough, the dark haired woman clenched her first.. Shaking her head, gritting her teeth in anger as she screamed. Stacy, frightened, backed away, trying to tell the diva not to hurt her.. Whilst Jazz had every intention of hurting her. And so much more if she had her way. Snitsky and Undertaker were 'building' a tower of some sort out of building box. The tower came tumbling over as Snitsky had removed a block from the pattern.. Undertaker glaring at him with dark eyes.

"That..Wasn't my fault." Snitsky claimed.

"Sure it wasn't, boy.. You will learn how to respect me, you hear? Now pick up those blocks, boy!" Undertaker ordered.

"HELP!" Stacy squealed as Jazz rose a fist in the air.

Undertaker glared at the two, neither noticing that he had even taken their presence in. His eyes rolled, annoyed before he got up and walked over, grabbing Jazz's wrist.

"There a problem here, Stacy and man?" Undertaker questioned.

Jazz looked outraged at that, "Who you calling man?"

"By the looks of it.. You." Undertaker replied.

"Well… I… I'm not a man!" Jazz sputtered, unsure if she should raise her voice at the man or not. "I…Let go.. I'll leave her alone!"

"Good." Undertaker muttered darkly, narrowing his eyes at her. "You touch her, look at her? I won't be the only dead man around here."

At that, he released her wrist, she narrowed her eyes at Stacy before she scurried off in a flash.. Oh that blonde was dead as far as Jazz was concerned. Stacy smiled slightly, taking a step forward.

"Thanks.." Stacy mumbled.

"No problem--"

Stacy kissed his cheek, causing his lips to stop moving.. A little shocked at her actions to say the least. But then again, at least she didn't kiss his lips. Stacy pulled away, smiling, he offered a smile, but came up short. The diva, however, hadn't noticed this.. She shrugged happily and skipped off to write in her diary.

"That wasn't my fault." Snitsky stated blankly.

Undertaker glared over his shoulder to see Snitsky standing there..

"What the fuck - boy! Those blocks better be cleaned up!" Undertaker sneered.

"They were, but.. Jazz kicked the box!" Snitsky stated. "Which.. Wasn't my fault."

"Sure it wasn't."

**-x-**

Again, the three found themselves in utter shock.. Staring at the large man, who kept looking in the mirror at himself.. Muttering things, things they probably didn't even need to know! Torrie, having a date with Randy later, truly needed to use that mirror for her make-up. Though she didn't dare interrupt Kane in his daily staring - which normally took an hour or four. The man forbid anyone from leaving the cabin, which, for some reason, he was now calling a castle.. Apparently, Kane had some sort of idea that he were in the Beauty and The Beast movie, which scared people. Benoit and Maven exchanged a look before they tried to steal away.. Kane, however, noticed.

"Leave and consider yourself DEAD!" Kane yelled.

Torrie screamed as Kane crushed the mirror with his fists.. The two men freezing in their place as Kane slowly tuned to look at them.. A sick, twisted and sadistic look upon his face.

"No one leaves my castle…NO ONE!" Kane shouted, breaking one of the bunk beds.

Torrie blinked, "We're supposed to sleep there you know!"

"SHUT UP! TRAITOR!" Kane snarled.

"Traitor?"

"TRAITOR!" Kane screamed.

"How are we traitors?" Torrie cried.

Maven and Benoit nodding, trying to figure out what the hell Kane was on.

"You ratted me out to the mob! You bitches! You ratted me out!" Kane snapped, throwing things around the room.

Torrie, Maven and Benoit had to drop to the floor to avoid being hit. The three exchanging looks, however it wasn't long until Vince and Johnny Ace came rushing in.. The two shocked to see Kane tearing up the cabin.

"Kane! What on Earth are you doing?" Ace questioned.

"What the fuck! STOP IT KANE!" Vince shouted.

Kane stopped, "They…Ratted me out!"

"Ratted you out?" Ace repeated curiously.

"To the mob.. They ratted me out!" Kane replied furiously.

"What…mob?" Vince inquired, glaring around the cabin for a mob.

"I.. They left." Kane muttered, glaring around as well.

Vince nodded, "Well.. I can certainly see some sort of mob has been in here."

"Vince.. We just seen Kane tearing up this cabin.. Surely you know better than anyone else that we have to remove Torrie, Benoit and Maven from this cabin--" Ace started.

"We have no cabin space left! No wait.. Stick them in cabin five. I remember there was a spare bunk there!" Vince replied.

"Vince.. We already have put two more people in that cabin.." Ace pointed out.

"Who cares.. Torrie could sleep with Lita or Maria.. Benoit and Rey could share or trade nights.. Maven and Orton could share or trade nights. It works! Bischoff will have a lovely time there." Vince laughed evilly. "I can't wait to see the look on his face! Wait! No! We put Bischoff on the floor.. Give them three cots!"

Ace nodded, "Yes sir."

"Clean this up Kane.. That mob better not come back!" Vince exclaimed. "Or else.. We'll shoot them! Anyhow.. Torrie, Maven, Benoit.. Cabin five with you."

"Um.. Okay.." Torrie mumbled.

"God Kane is a beast." Benoit shook his head as he walked out.

"It was nice knowing you." Maven muttered.

"I'll find you." Kane whispered, Maven quickly ran up with Torrie close behind.

Vince and Johnny started for the door, waving shortly before the exited. Kane laughing hysterically as he sat down on the broken bunk bed. Oh he had finally gotten rid of them, and now.. He was going to have a party.

**To Be Continued…**

**A/N: **Yes, I did quite enjoy this chapter.. Lol, hope you liked! Thanks for reading, now time to review!


End file.
